• Travis Ryan

18 years




I got summer jams stuck in my head. Which is ironic because its freezing on this cell block.


I’m feeling whimsical in a little shitty kind of way, but I sort of like the mania of it. There’s a funny story this morning. I just heard of about a man who was married for 18 years before he realized that his wife was also a man…


I think that just about sums up the generation gap. He knew soo little about his wife, or cared so little about his and was willing enough to live in in the delusional 1950’s style of leave it to beaverish mirage, where you never really have to do anything besides work, come home, take a shower, eat a home cooked meal, crack a PBR and watch T.V. until its time for bed. It also illustrates a scenario where either this man knew what was going on, or he was a completely oblivious asshole.


Either way it’s the funniest story I’ve heard this morning. Followed only 2nd by the story my friend just told me about the first time he put in in his girlfriend’s butt by accident and she literally fainted for 30 minutes, he thought she was dead and was in the process of calling the paramedics when she woke up, He thought he killed her, breakfast talk… That was the funniest story, I change my mind, that one was the funniest one I heard this morning.


So, I’m basically just reminiscing again, I see why no one wants to talk to me on the phone, I get no “good” or at least original material in here. Talking to me is the equivalent of visiting your grandmother in a nursing home, same story over and over and over until she dies. I guess I’m just operating on a hail Mary style of writing where I believe if I just put pencil to paper, day in, day out that maybe something will happen, the same way photographers carry around cameras in a douchey attempt to “catch the right moment”... Truthfully I don’t know what “right” is anymore but I don’t want to live there. All next to the normal or not, looks, in my imagination like the berlin wall at the peak of its oppressive mass.


I line and boundary that all people should avoid or risk personal destruction, or worse, social forced sterilization in the form of trendy normalism. A fate worse than death, because even death comes with some mystery and sense of eternity.

Normalcy dies as it lives, unnoticed, unseen and under no scrutiny. “An unexamined life is not worth living” And in a world where most people are sitting on the sidelines, living at all stands out. Do Anything and people will stare hard, laugh a little bit in uncomfortable jest, and stare in awe.


Be genuinely happy and they will make you a god, not forever, but for the 15 minutes it takes for them to lose interest.



“Slight of hand artist”


Travis Muffhuggin Ryan


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