Updated: Mar 29
Morning is the only solemn time in a place like this. Many people are still chasing their dreams and attempting to fall back asleep. I am not a morning person. I’m up this early because there is a screaming voice in side my head that says if I don’t get up, I’m going to miss “it”. The metaphorical, and likely metaphysical “it” is the one idea or concept that changes everything. Almost an internal address of purpose, that I will miss if I’m asleep, maybe it comes from sleep… Maybe my purpose is to sleep…maybe sleep and myself are both cousins of death from different sides of the family. Only in the same tree because of Love. Is hanging from a tree because of love different than hanging from a tree because of hatred? Either emotion, equally untouchable and everyone ends up at the end of the rope at some point anyway.
Am I focused on trees because this concrete jungle has engulphed me? Or do I just miss my family? Can I be better, faster, stronger? The answer to all is Yes, but only because “No” means death. Even through the electric agony of these mean cities, most days will be spent drinking down various poisons with the pain. They will also be filled with pockets and bubbles of Love, its my job to increase the size of these pockets by any means necessary before I move on to the next.
New day, New city, New agony. I’m a travelling salesman of sorts. I sling words at lost souls and fornication at lonely housewives, desperate divorcees, wandering young folk.
Cat or Dog person? It doesn’t matter when you consider that if the power went out right now, names like “Fido” and “Mittens” would turn into “breakfast” and “dinner”. What animals we are ourselves. And how can myself, or anyone else be forced to live an “honest” life and deny and hide the fact that we are beasts daily?
The list of “don’ts” is ever increasing in size, while no one’s coming up with new “Do’s”. We’re careening towards a brick wall, and every time anyone tries to touch the brake pedal, the system says “Don’t”. Do they really think that this wont end in armed revolution like it always does? Do they think a nation that grew up sharpening urban combat strategy after school every day, and their formative years forced to muscle up for the other sex won’t fight back? Are the pills that mind numbing? Does anything ever come close to a good fight? Besides sex, no, but who has that anymore? A society beyond fucking is beyond fighting. That society has effectively had their animal instincts removed.
No more claws, No more teeth, No more struggle. Our forefathers expected this. Those great American maniacs and time travelers knew we would get complacent. They also knew that despite how oppressive the government gets, you can’t take the fight out of a bullet or a bomb (hence our right to bear arms), that we would eventually be too hungover for too long and would need a readily available equalizer and a road map. The constitution is not a list of laws. It’s a collection of Rights that, as human beings we are made of, to be taken by no one.
I hope our children will have a chance to read it one day. I hope that by then its not brushed off as a thing of the past, a roadblock to “progress”. History shows progress sometimes comes in the form of slavery. “Change” can mean a destruction of a culture. If you ever decide, personally, that it is necessary to stand arm in arm and live an honest, truly honest life against a common enemy, I will be there.
What happens after that is pure gunfire and speculation. Most of the time I just want to recapture youthful ideas, play outside, get in fights, have crushes. If only there was a girl who could handle what comes with me as a “total package”. Functionally Peter Pen is a tough role to play. I guess we all have a tough role to play…
“peter pen” “Liar” “writer with a lighter”
Travis Muffhuggin Ryan.